Freaky Tales

[00:06.43] These are the tales, the freaky tales
[00:09.47] These are the tales that I tell so well
[00:12.66] I met this girl, her name was Joan
[00:15.56] She loved the way I rocked on the microphone
[00:18.51] When I met Joan, I took her home
[00:21.44] She was just like a doggy all on my bone
[00:24.72] I met another girl, her name was Ann
[00:28.07] All she wanted was to freak with a man
[00:30.91] When I met Ann, I shook her hand
[00:34.16] We ended up freakin' by a garbage can
[00:37.19] The next young freak I met was Red
[00:40.23] I took her to the house and she gave me head
[00:43.49] She liked to freak is all she said
[00:46.45] We jumped in the sheets and we broke my bed
[00:49.66] There's another girl, her name is Mary
[00:52.71] Talked about sex and the girl acted scary
[00:55.68] I heard she was freakin' for my homeboy Jerry
[00:58.97] Took her to the house and I popped that cherry
[01:02.09] Young and tender, sweet Denise
[01:05.21] Get her in the bed and the girl's a beast
[01:08.00] I tell you, homeboy, if you get a piece
[01:10.93] She'll only start talking about signin' the lease
[01:14.19] I met this tender, her name was Lori
[01:17.26] An x-rated movie wouldn't tell her story
[01:20.32] She had a twin sister, her name was Lisa
[01:23.43] And just like Lori, she's a real dick pleaser
[01:26.76] My girlfriend's name was Michelle
[01:29.50] Her booty was bigger than a tell on the well
[01:32.72] When I freaked Michelle, I freaked her well
[01:35.74] Her pussy got hotter than the flames in hell
[01:38.80] I geed this girl, her name was Tammy
[01:42.14] I didn't wanna do it 'cause the bitch was flammy
[01:45.02] She had a best friend, her name was Jane
[01:48.17] I pulled her to the side and I spit that game
[01:51.21] I met a lot of freaks in my life span
[01:54.63] Freaked one night with a girl named Pam
[01:57.32] The very next day I saw her with her man
[02:00.83] One week passed and I was in her again
[02:03.71] I had an old tender, her name's Janie
[02:06.84] She was thirty-two and I was only eighteen
[02:10.08] She likes to freak, she's just a fiend
[02:13.00] It really didn't matter when I saw her in jeans
[02:15.69] I wanna big freak, fat and slobby
[02:19.18] I'll kick on back and watch her mouth
[02:22.05] Two tons of fun, big mama jama
[02:25.25] A country-girl from Alabama
[02:28.39] I met this freak, her name was Betty
[02:31.34] Her pussy got wet and it smelled like death
[02:34.41] I was tired as hell, I was drippin' sweat
[02:37.19] But I was all up in her tryin' to hold my breath
[02:40.85] Bake and shake us, I met this freak in Vegas
[02:46.82] She said her name was Donna
[02:49.62] She was a filthy little freak from China
[02:52.84] I said, "I don't pimp or gigolo
[02:55.88] I'm havin' so much money, I don't need a hoe
[02:58.94] You can break yourself but you can't break me
[03:02.38] You never met a player like $hort, baby"
[03:05.44] I knew a dick sucker named Betty-Jo
[03:08.54] Took her to my house and we did it on the floor
[03:11.69] The girl got freaky and I'll tell you more
[03:14.59] She was down on her knees beggin' to blow
[03:17.85] She's like another freak named Renee
[03:20.74] You get her alone and she'll make your day
[03:23.71] Like Burger King, she knows the play
[03:26.73] But a freak like Renee, you can have it your way
[03:30.26] These are the tales, the freaky tales
[03:33.15] These are the tales that I tell so well
[03:36.46] These are the tales, the freaky tales
[03:39.51] These are the tales that I tell so well
[03:42.46] I met this girl, thick as hell
[03:45.80] Only sixteen, said her name was Linell
[03:48.79] I took her to my house, I could not wait
[03:51.76] Her shit was much tighter than a central safe
[03:54.88] Let me tell you this since we're talkin' young
[03:57.97] I met another girl, said her name was Yvonne
[04:01.22] Always talkin' about havin' fun
[04:03.82] Once again at the pad I had it goin' on
[04:07.17] I'm Sir Too $hort, couldn't be no punk
[04:10.26] I'm tryna get funky like female funk
[04:12.84] So when you see me comin' or see me goin'
[04:16.36] I keep my money, let the hoes keep throwin'
[04:19.42] I once met a hooker, she did it for free
[04:22.36] On the foothill bust number forty-three
[04:25.48] All the way in the back she was workin' me
[04:28.57] Had my big beatbox and I was jammin' the beat
[04:31.85] I met this freak named Antoinette
[04:35.03] Macked on baby like an ice-cold vet
[04:38.25] Everythin' she had is what I get
[04:40.90] 'Cause I'm Too $hort, baby, I don't play that shit
[04:44.28] I met another freak, her name was Rita
[04:47.34] Baby thought that $hort just might eat her
[04:50.39] I told her like this, she can suck my peter
[04:53.33] Or even go home 'cause I knew I didn't need her
[04:56.58] Scratched her name off my telephone book
[04:59.91] Never again, I took a second look
[05:02.46] 'Cause the next young freak, her name was Sharon
[05:05.95] She kept lookin', well, I kept starin'
[05:09.36] Baby came through with my homeboy Darren
[05:12.02] Her booty was stuffed in the jeans she was wearin'
[05:15.15] She never left, he cut out
[05:18.23] I know you all know what I'm talkin' about
[05:21.02] There's a freak named Shannon, such a sinner
[05:24.25] She smokes that pipe and she's gettin' thinner
[05:27.40] Shannon is cool but her mind is gone
[05:30.60] One fat rock and it's goin' on
[05:33.61] She had another buddy, came by my place
[05:36.72] Thick ass bitch, said her name was Grace
[05:39.73] She walked in the door workin' a lace
[05:42.59] You shoulda seen that look that was on my face
[05:45.98] She's like this tender named Belinda
[05:49.07] The homeboys call her Belinda the Blender
[05:52.15] She gave head like she made it up
[05:54.90] She was twenty years old with a big round butt
[05:58.63] Had a girl like olive oil
[06:01.44] Her father was rich and the girl was spoiled
[06:04.36] When she got mad, her blood would boil
[06:07.59] But I wrapped her all up like alluminium foil
[06:10.88] These are the tales, the freaky tales
[06:20.10] These are the tales that I tell so well
[06:24.79] Shake if you like, Friday night, it's goin' on, Too $hort
[06:35.06] Three weeks ago I met this freak
[06:38.44] She followed me around like Mary's sheep
[06:41.59] I hid around the corner and when she came
[06:44.59] I grabbed her by the arm and I asked her name
[06:47.53] She said it was Anita, her man's in Santa Rita
[06:50.60] I took her to my house and homeboy, I geed her
[06:54.16] Sent her on her way the very next day
[06:57.19] Playboy $hort was ready to play
[06:59.97] I bumped to this girl, her name's Rosanne
[07:03.19] We hit the motel and had it goin' on
[07:06.24] Holiday Inn to the break of dawn
[07:09.30] When I took baby home, I freaked her mom
[07:12.31] I knew this tender named Cherie
[07:15.49] I took her to my house and let her freak on me
[07:18.71] Baby was a fan, she loved my beat
[07:21.42] But I wouldn't raise my leg and let her kiss my feet
[07:24.90] I met this freak named Yolanda
[07:27.93] Rolled baby doll like a brand new Honda
[07:31.25] I was on top, she was up under
[07:34.00] The bed hit the wall and it sounded like thunder
[07:37.02] I once had a date with girl named Kitty
[07:40.32] She was so fine with her big fat titties
[07:43.65] All night long she was actin' shitty
[07:46.32] So I macked on baby like I was Frank Nitti
[07:49.86] There's another girl, her name is Rose
[07:52.50] I use to ride baby like brand new Volvos
[07:55.79] I never saw Rose wearin' clothes
[07:58.35] She's a pimp house pet, ready to pose
[08:01.68] I was ridin' down the street when i met Janet
[08:04.99] Her booty was bigger than the whole damn planet
[08:08.35] Ass everywhere, I just can't stand it
[08:11.14] Tried to pom it but I could not manage
[08:14.54] I had this freak, her name was Bunny
[08:17.34] Said I'm the only man who ever called her honey
[08:20.54] Everything I did to her was funny
[08:23.48] I macked on bunny and I took her money
[08:26.64] Eight tonight, a date with Shirley
[08:29.81] She was real short and her hair was curly
[08:32.87] If you saw baby, you'd like this girlie
[08:35.92] She was so fine, I went to get her early
[08:39.12] Shirley was freakin' like a girl named Rachel
[08:41.84] Her bite was vicious and it sure was fatal
[08:45.26] She liked to kiss all on my naval
[08:48.37] Those are her lips on top of my label
[08:51.29] I knew another freak, her name was Candy
[08:54.38] Real big lips and they came in handy
[08:57.32] I smooth got worked and it was so dandy
[09:00.52] I hooked the broad up with my homeboy Randy
[09:03.69] He did me a favor in return
[09:07.08] Gave me a lizard, said her name was Laverne
[09:10.10] Baby got tossed, then I got on
[09:12.90] I grabbed the microphone and started singing my song
[09:15.96] My young homeboy heard me rap
[09:19.13] And said he had way more freaks than that
[09:21.76] So I told him like this, they might be freakin'
[09:25.32] But, boy, you never had that TP treatment
[09:28.23]