Martydom Of St Victor

[00:00.94] And it came to pass that St Victor was taken from this place to another place
[00:06.38] Where he was lain upon pillows of silk
[00:08.14] And made to rest himself amongst sheets of muslin and velvet.
[00:12.68] And there stroked was he by maidens of the Orient.
[00:18.04] For sixteen days and nights stroked they him, yea verily and caressed him.
[00:25.24] His hair, ruffled they.
[00:27.19] And their fingers rubbethed they in oil of olives,
[00:30.79] And runneth them across all parts of his body for as much as to soothe him.
[00:36.15] And the soles of his feet licked they.
[00:39.74] And the upper parts of his thigh did they anoint with the balm of forbidden trees.
[00:44.21] And with the teeth of their mouths,
[00:46.03] Nibbleth they the pointed bits at the top of his ears.
[00:49.66] Yea verily, and did their tongues thereof make themselves acquainted
[00:53.25] With his most secret places.
[00:56.95] For fifteen days and nights did Victor withstand these maidens.
[01:02.30] But on the sixteenth day he cried out, saying
[01:05.06] "This is fantastic!
[01:07.70] Oh, this is terrific!"
[01:11.40] And the Lord did hear the cry of Victor.
[01:14.96] And verily came He down and slew the maidens.
[01:19.48] And caused their cotton wool buds to blow away,
[01:22.27] And their Kleenex to be laid waste utterly.
[01:25.82] And Victor, in his anguish, cried out that the Lord was a rotten bastard.
[01:31.22] And the Lord sent an angel to comfort Victor for the weekend.
[01:35.77] And entered they together the Jaccuzzi.
[01:38.46] Here endeth the lesson.
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