Master of the House - Live

[00:01.06] (Oh! Oh! Woken up finally, have ya?)
[00:05.71] Oh, wind your neck in you popswidden trollop
[00:09.64] (Oh, shut up, you syphilitic old sod!)
[00:13.32] Drop dead!
[00:15.37] Welcome, Monsieur
[00:16.91] Sit yourself down
[00:18.66] And meet the best innkeeper in town
[00:23.58] As for the rest
[00:25.33] All of them crooks
[00:27.09] Rooking their guests
[00:27.95] And cooking the books
[00:30.06] Oh, it's terrible I tell ya!
[00:32.22] Seldom do you see
[00:34.99] Honest men like me
[00:37.67] A gent of good intent
[00:40.39] Who's content to be
[00:44.61] Master of the house
[00:46.00] Doling out the charm
[00:47.62] Ready with a handshake and an open palm
[00:50.39] Tells a saucy tale
[00:51.56] Makes a little stir
[00:53.32] Well, customers appreciate a bon viveur
[00:56.33] Glad to do a friend a favor
[00:58.65] Well, it doesn't cost me to be nice
[01:01.80] But nothing gets you nothing
[01:03.21] Everything has got a little price
[01:07.94] Master of the house
[01:09.10] Keeper of the zoo
[01:10.84] Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two
[01:13.92] Watering the wine
[01:15.28] Making up the weight
[01:16.91] Picking up their knickknacks when they can't see straight
[01:19.93] Everybody loves the landlord
[01:22.52] Everybody's bosom friend
[01:25.43] I do whatever pleases
[01:26.91] Jesus, won't I bleed 'em in the end?
[01:30.24] Master of the house
[01:31.58] Quick to catch your eye
[01:32.90] Never wants a passerby to pass him by
[01:35.68] Servant to the poor
[01:37.28] Butler to the great
[01:38.65] Comforter, philosopher, and life-long mate
[01:41.64] Everybody's boon companion
[01:44.39] Everybody's chaperone
[01:47.34] But lock up your valises
[01:48.91] Jesus, won't I skin you to the bone?
[01:52.89] Ay-ay, here's one
[01:56.15] Enter, Monsieur
[01:58.22] Lay down your load
[01:59.82] Unlace your boots
[02:01.64] And rest from the road
[02:05.58] This weighs a ton
[02:06.84] Travel's a curse
[02:08.88] But here we strive
[02:10.24] To lighten your purse
[02:13.84] Here the goose is cooked
[02:17.19] Here the fat is fried
[02:20.20] And nothing's overlooked
[02:22.85] 'Til I'm satisfied
[02:26.54] Food beyond compare
[02:27.71] Food beyond belief
[02:29.53] Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
[02:31.97] Kidney of a horse
[02:33.85] Liver of a cat
[02:35.25] Filling up the sausages with this and that
[02:38.20] Residents are more than welcome
[02:41.26] Bridal suite is occupied (you'll be lucky!)
[02:44.40] Reasonable charges plus some little extras on the side
[02:49.79] Charge 'em for the lice
[02:51.46] Extra for the mice
[02:53.08] Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
[02:55.87] Here a little slice
[02:57.12] There a little cut
[02:58.82] Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
[03:01.87] When it comes to fixing prices
[03:04.46] There are lots of tricks he knows
[03:07.44] How it all increases, all them bits and pieces
[03:10.46] Jesus, it's amazing how it grows
[03:13.71] Master of the house
[03:15.36] Quick to catch your eye
[03:16.28] Never wants a passerby to pass him by
[03:19.26] Servant to the poor
[03:21.05] Butler to the great
[03:22.23] Comforter, philosopher, and life-long mate
[03:24.94] Everybody's boon companion
[03:28.00] Gives 'em everything he's got
[03:30.98] Dirty bunch of geezers
[03:32.64] Jesus, what a sorry little lot
[03:36.49] (What you looking at?)
[03:40.83] I used to dream that I would meet a prince
[03:45.28] But God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since?
[03:52.21] Master of the house
[03:54.16] Isn't worth my spit
[03:56.35] Comforter, philosopher, and life-long shit
[04:00.76] Cunning little brain
[04:02.72] Regular Voltaire
[04:05.05] Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there
[04:09.03] What a cruel trick of nature
[04:12.02] Landed me with such a louse
[04:15.04] God knows how I've lasted, living with this bastard in the house!
[04:19.40] Master of the house
[04:20.80] (Master and a half!)
[04:22.11] Comforter, philosopher
[04:23.32] (Don't make me laugh)
[04:24.83] Servant to the poor
[04:26.49] Butler to the great
[04:27.79] (Hypocrite and toady and inebriate)
[04:30.47] Everybody bless the landlord
[04:33.26] Everybody bless his spouse
[04:36.20] Everybody raise a glass
[04:39.23] Raise it up the master's ass! (Hey!)
[04:42.24] Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house!
[04:46.07]