Master Of The House - Live

[00:03.19] Welcome, monsieur
[00:06.01]
[00:16.62] Sit yourself down
[00:18.24] And meet the best innkeeper in town
[00:23.38] As for the rest
[00:25.05] All of 'em crooks
[00:26.73] Rooking the guests and cooking the books
[00:31.33] Seldom do you see
[00:35.58] Honest men like me
[00:38.35] A gent of good intent
[00:41.45] Who's content to be
[00:45.07] Master of the house
[00:46.42] Doling out the charm
[00:47.81] Ready with a handshake and an open palm
[00:51.21] Tells a saucy tale
[00:52.64] Makes a little stir
[00:54.36] Customers appreciate a bon viveur
[00:57.12] Glad to do me friends a favor
[01:00.22] Doesn't cost me to be nice
[01:03.23] But nothin' gets you nothing
[01:05.11] Everything has got a little price
[01:09.48] Master of the house
[01:11.12] Keeper of the zoo
[01:12.34] Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two
[01:15.73] Watering the wine
[01:17.18] Making up the weight
[01:18.65] Picking up their knickknacks when they can't see straight
[01:21.80] Everybody loves a landlord
[01:25.04] Everybody's bosom friend
[01:27.79] I do whatever pleases
[01:29.57] Jesus, don't I bleed 'em in the end!
[01:32.58] Master of the house
[01:34.08] Quick to catch your eye
[01:35.70] Never wants a passerby to pass him by
[01:38.83] Servant to the poor
[01:40.27] Butler to the great
[01:41.66] Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate
[01:45.06] Everybody's boon companion
[01:48.01] Everybody's chaperone
[01:50.94] But lock up your valises
[01:52.72] Jesus, won't I skin you to the bone!
[01:56.27] Enter, monsieur
[01:59.23]
[02:01.71] Lay down your load
[02:03.35] Unlace your boots and rest from the road
[02:08.48] This weighs a ton!
[02:10.94] Travel's a curse
[02:13.00] But here we strive to lighten your purse
[02:16.95] Here, the goose is cooked
[02:21.36] Here, the fat is fried
[02:24.12] And nothing's overlooked
[02:27.28] 'Till I'm satisfied
[02:31.18] Food beyond compare!
[02:32.89] Food beyond belief!
[02:34.21] Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
[02:37.40] Kidney of a horse
[02:38.82] Liver of a cat
[02:40.59] Filling up the sausages with this and that
[02:43.66] Residents are more than welcome
[02:46.82] Bridal suite is occupied
[02:49.93] Reasonable charges
[02:51.35] Plus some little extras on the side
[02:55.30] Charge 'em for the lice
[02:57.01] Extra for the mice
[02:58.54] Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
[03:01.70] Here a little slice
[03:03.24] There a little cut
[03:05.22] Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
[03:08.17] When it comes to fixing prices
[03:11.01] There are lots of tricks he knows
[03:14.03] How it all increases
[03:15.72] All them bits and pieces
[03:17.23] Jesus! It's amazing how it grows
[03:20.61] Master of the house
[03:22.04] Quick to catch your eye
[03:23.78] Never wants a passerby to pass him by
[03:26.80] Servant to the poor
[03:28.48] Butler to the great
[03:29.68] Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate
[03:32.55] Everybody's boon companion
[03:35.84] Gives 'em everything he's got
[03:38.79] Dirty bunch of geezers
[03:40.64] Jesus, what a sorry little lot!
[03:44.49]
[03:49.81] I used to dream that I would meet a prince
[03:54.69] But God almighty, have you seen what's happened since?
[04:01.25] Master of the house
[04:04.42] Isn't worth my spit
[04:06.72] Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong shit
[04:10.94] Cunning little brain
[04:13.08] Regular Voltaire
[04:14.94] Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there
[04:19.38] What a cruel trick of nature
[04:23.24] Landed me with such a louse
[04:26.74] God knows how I've lasted
[04:28.99] Living with this bastard in the house!
[04:31.99] Master of the house
[04:33.45] Master and a half!
[04:34.54] Comforter, philosopher-
[04:35.81] Don't make me laugh!
[04:37.83] Servant to the poor
[04:39.16] Butler to the great
[04:40.55] Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!
[04:43.85] Everybody bless the landlord
[04:46.60] Everybody bless his spouse
[04:49.76] Everybody raise a glass
[04:52.70] Raise it up the master's ass!
[04:55.69] Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house!
[04:59.04]