Jesus of Cool

I didn't get laid last night and I'm gonna take it out on you
I'm starting me a religion and everyone's gonna get screwed
Yes they will, oh, yes they will

I wrote me ten commandments and the first one's all about you
Thou shalt spread your legs, honey
It's time to try something real new, real new

Position one's: down on your knees
Taste the blood of Christ, if you please
I'm the Messiah, the Messiah, the Messiah
The Jesus of cool
And here's my golden rule

Virgins are gonna get no respect, I'll change the way you pray
The Pope's gonna need a new job, he better polish up his résumé
His résumé, get it sharp, baby

Miracles are easy as pie when you send your money to me
Sex and drugs and rock and roll will be our holy trinity, trinity

Position two's: down on all fours
Feel the body of Christ at your back door
I'm the Messiah, the Messiah, the Messiah
The Jesus of cool
And feel my golden rule
Do unto others, dude

I'm the Messiah (ooh, ooh)
The Messiah (ooh, ooh)
The Messiah (ooh, ooh)
The Jesus of cool
And here's my golden rule

I'm the Messiah (sex and drugs)
The Messiah (and rock 'n' roll)
The Messiah (will be our holy trinity)
The Jesus of cool
And here's my golden rule

I'm the Messiah (sex and drugs)
The Messiah (and rock 'n' roll)
The Messiah (will be our holy trinity)
The Jesus of cool
Jesus of cool

Cool I am
Kiss to me