Don't Laugh I'll Cry

When I drive past a graveyard
I still hold my breath
I guess on some level
The thought of what's next makes my stomach hurt
When I get like that
I don't know where to go with it
So I just say something inappropriate
Like, "Must be nice to skip work"
If I act like I don't care
It's 'cause I care too much
If I act like I'm not scared
It's 'cause I'm scared as fuck
If I make a joke that you don't think is funny
About how you'll get all of my money after I die
It's 'cause if I don't laugh, I'll cry
When I kiss you goodbye at the airport
And I say a plane crash is cheaper than divorce
I can't help it, no, I can't help it
Wish I could stop all these cyclical thoughts
Like one day you're here and the next day you're not
I know without you would kill me if I ever felt it
If I act like I don't care
It's 'cause I care too much
If I act like I'm not scared
It's 'cause I'm scared as fuck
If I make a joke that you don't think is funny
About how you'll get all of my money after I die
It's 'cause if I don't laugh, I'll cry
When I drive past a graveyard
I still hold my breath
I guess on some level
The thought of what's next makes my stomach hurt