Marlboro Mountain

I can't have a cigarette in my house can't have can't have two or three while I figure things out
Am I going blind while I'm feeling numb
Give me those fuckin' fries I need the sodium

I can't have drink when I go out because I'll have too many and I'll be filled with doubt
Did I stop my mind from feeling dumb when I'm forced to talk to anyone

I keep having bad thoughts in my head like can't be loved or I'm not worth it
Maybe it's just my fight or flight that made me realize I'm alright

Just can't seem to catch a break these days
Can't act like I'm going to be okay
If it hurts this much just to stay awake
I don't know why you would hesitate

And that's fine and I get that some times

And there's somethings I can't figure out about feeling lonely, how a simple conversation can fix it all
Please don't ask me how my life works or how I'm feeling because it doesn't matter if I can't fix it all

The end is coming soon, wish it would come faster
Holding on to you, chasing what I'm after
Howling at the moon, someone's barking at you
Somewhere in the past there's an ever after