Draft Dodger Rag

[00:04.47] I'm just a typical American boy from a typical American town
[00:09.89] I believe in God and Senator Todd and keeping old Castro down
[00:14.49] And when it came my time to serve I knew better dead than red
[00:20.79] But when I got to my old draft board, buddy, this is what I said:
[00:24.32] Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen
[00:27.93] And I always carry a purse
[00:30.68] I got eyes like a bat, my feet are flat, and my asthma's getting worse
[00:35.15] O think of my career, my sweetheart dear,
[00:37.84] And my poor old invalid aunt
[00:40.50] Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a goin' to school,
[00:42.39] And I'm working in a defense plant
[00:45.02] I've got a dislocated disc and a racked up back
[00:47.78] I'm allergic to flowers and bugs
[00:50.55] And when bombshells hit, I get epileptic fits
[00:53.22] And I'm addicted to a thousand drugs
[00:55.01] I got the weakness woes, I can't touch my toes
[00:57.72] I can hardly touch my knees
[01:00.49] And if the enemy came close to me
[01:03.17] I'd probably start to sneeze
[01:04.95] I hate Chou En Lai, and I hope he dies,
[01:28.34] But one thing you gotta see
[01:31.11] That someone's gotta go over there
[01:32.85] But that someone isn't me
[01:35.60] So I wish you well, Sarge, give 'em Hell
[01:39.28] Yeah kill me a thousand or more
[01:41.26] And if you ever get a war without blood and gore
[01:43.98] Well I'll be the first to go
[01:45.74] Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen
[01:48.48] And I always carry a purse
[01:51.12] I got eyes like a bat, my feet are flat, and my asthma's getting worse
[01:55.75] O think of my career, my sweetheart dear,
[01:58.46] And my poor old invalid aunt
[02:01.11] Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a goin' to school,
[02:03.85] And I'm working in a defense plant
[02:05.65]