Blind Date

The evening's bright
You're goin' on a date tonight
And everything's feeling alright
And maybe you'll get laid

He seems so nice
He took you out for shrimp and rice
You kissed him without thinking twice
But the sentiment will fade
Ain't that nice?

Well you really didn't know the definition of weird
Until he took you back to his place
He showed you things you didn't know you feared
When he let you see his other face

You guys were gettin' kinda kinky, you were makin' out
You had just taken off your clothes
You decided to go down, but then you let out a shout
When he whipped out his giant hose

He said, "this is my twin brother
He wants to join in the show
We've gone too far to say no
He's tired of bein' smothered

Do you think you can give him a kiss
You don't have to but you might just miss out
On the best night of your life"

So you said, "oh well
He's kind of cute, so what the hell
A little sucking face sounds swell"
Ménage à trois initiate

But he's a nervous case
In the middle of your sweet embrace
He threw up all over your face
And now you're a blind date
Ain't that great?

Clean your face off, hon
Put your clothes back on
Then tell him you gotta run
And then lose his number
And remember never to tell anyone
Okay!