Survivor's Guilt

[00:01.26] Fall too far to be wise and I know that I try but I-
[00:05.71] Fall too far to be wise and I know that I try but I-
[00:10.78] Fall too far to be wise and I know that I try but I-
[00:16.07] Fall too far to be wise and I know that I try but I-
[00:21.29] Look
[00:22.21] Let me show you behind the scene
[00:24.60] Behind the glitz and the glamour and all the lights you see
[00:27.82] Behind the rumours on the life I lead
[00:29.99] Let me talk to the people like it's the mic in me
[00:32.46] The truth is I got really bad anxiety
[00:35.13] I'm on the motorway, cryin' in the driver's seat
[00:37.83] I don't even know where I'm goin'
[00:39.96] I got love, but I don't know how to show it, is this life?
[00:43.00] When you feel like givin' up, know you're close
[00:46.01] I been sayin' the least and knowin' the most
[00:48.94] I've had ups and downs, but the highest of the highs
[00:51.40] Never last for as long as the lowest of lows
[00:55.34] Survivor's guilt
[00:57.32] I feel the worst at my happiest
[00:58.87] 'Cause I miss all my niggas that couldn't be in this life I built
[01:02.11] But that's the type of shit that only I can feel
[01:05.13] Gettin' me in a mood
[01:07.02] My exes got ivory skin
[01:09.33] Which is funny 'cause it's really the elephant in the room
[01:12.11] Is that enough reason to bury me in a tomb?
[01:15.14] I fell in love with an Albanian, I know it's mad
[01:17.98] We're not together, 'cause her family would hold us back
[01:20.21] I saw the red flags, I wouldn't want my child to grow in that
[01:23.68] Rum and Red Bull, it's a culture clash (fuckin' hell)
[01:28.68] I don't wanna let life tear us apart
[01:30.45] I see the Internet gossip and it wears on my heart
[01:33.14] I fuck with her, she was there from the start
[01:35.29] I'm seein' them laugh at me, cah I'm vulnerable
[01:39.64] Ain't that the shit that rappers' supposed to do?
[01:41.81] I'd rather rap about arguin' with my girl than fuckin' your girl
[01:45.09] But I don't mind, becah the both are true
[01:48.25] Ignorin' my messages, these times I know she on her...
[01:52.42] Worst part is I wouldn't even do the same
[01:54.92] Hate it or love it, you gotta charge it to the game
[01:58.74] (Gotta charge it to the-)
[02:00.58] Heavy is the head, but don't play with my heart
[02:02.74] I feel like a footballer when I'm makin' my art
[02:05.08] Through ball, how I'm managin' the weight of the past
[02:07.94] I felt so much pain that I got favorite scars
[02:10.74] And my house got wings like my favorite cars
[02:13.29] And the milly rock my favorite dance
[02:15.39] You can call it what you want it, but I got it off of takin' a chance
[02:18.65] I didn't take an advance
[02:21.54] Fame comes with a price, you can't pay in advance
[02:24.01] For six long years, I've been playin' my part
[02:26.33] Like a freak in a circus when they're makin' them dance
[02:29.26] I got nights where it's light and I got days where it's dark
[02:31.75] And the waters that I swim in, it ain't safe for the sharks
[02:34.76] He a gangster, but the stress gonna take him apart
[02:37.20] I'm with the niggas that I claimed from the start
[02:39.26] I see you niggas changin', they didn't make it
[02:42.80] It's a shame it takes fallin' to your death
[02:44.79] For a person to appreciate fully the gravity of the situation
[02:48.86] But that's just irony at its finest
[02:51.88] Black women, I just wanna say I'm sorry
[02:54.27] I done a lot of dumb shit, I won't lie to you
[02:56.62] I wanna be a voice for you, be a light for you
[02:59.12] I know I haven't done enough, I wanna try for you
[03:02.07] Wanna be on the frontline for you
[03:04.56] Campaign for you, make change for you
[03:07.34] I just wanna help in any way
[03:09.96] Bein' genuine, I think about it every day
[03:13.01] Tour life, travellin' every day
[03:15.36] Nerves paralysing when you get to stage
[03:17.88] You feel love for an hour, and then it gets to fade
[03:20.76] Imagine what that does to your mental state
[03:23.35] Imagine bein' a millionaire at a tender age
[03:26.33] You don't even know whether to spend or save
[03:28.64] My mum had to grow up fast, she expects the same
[03:30.90] I was 20 with a mortgage and rent to pay
[03:35.38] So what's happenin'? I got gorillas all around me, allow me
[03:39.04] Don't get grabbed in a party or lack in it
[03:41.59] You'll die for a whine like Joffrey Baratheon
[03:44.93] Pattern 'em
[03:46.38] The government ain't gonna help with all the issues that I'm tacklin'
[03:49.31] The way you talk about politics is bafflin'
[03:52.16] I wouldn't even trust my own shadow in a cabinet
[03:54.75] Cabbin' it, can't drive no more
[03:58.16] I been lookin' for the answers, sure that I'll find 'em
[04:00.82] I don't judge an accent but the story behind it
[04:03.35] We all know loss, but there's glory behind it
[04:06.03] I'ma make a film for my mom
[04:08.02] And tell her, "Tell to the world this album is just the soundtrack"
[04:11.34] Look at her story in a year in her life
[04:13.00] And tell me if it doesn't bring a fuckin' tear to your eyes
[04:15.80] In this together
[04:16.21] I thought wishin' wouldn't hurt, but take it over
[04:21.42] I'm done holdin' at your lies
[04:24.94] So knowin' that it weren't for any one thing
[04:28.90] You know you love fast and I know you want to stay
[04:31.79] In the clouds, my head's sippin' up
[04:34.18] Let the other try, said I don't wanna try
[04:38.56] I thought wishin' wouldn't hurt, but take it over
[04:42.70] I'm done holdin' at your lies
[04:46.24] So knowin' that it weren't for any one thing
[04:49.85] You know you love fast and I know you want to stay
[04:52.86] In the clouds, my head's sippin' up
[04:55.40] Let the other try, I don't wanna try
[05:00.18] What I've realised
[05:00.91] What I realised 'bout who I am
[05:03.30] Is that, you're kinda taught
[05:08.37] You're taught to die for what you stand for, you feel me?
[05:11.45] But I realise I'm here to live for what I stand for
[05:14.40] 'Cause I wanna see it, bro, I wanna enjoy it, bro
[05:17.89] I wanna see what I feel, like I am, you know what I'm sayin'?
[05:22.54] Out there, while I'm here, and that's that, bro
[05:26.20] But, yeah, link up soon my guy, you know how it is
[05:28.56] Hustle o'clock bruv, shine on 'em
[05:29.91]