The Ballad of Beauregard the Badly Burned Bard

In a far away valley
In a village of gnomes
Is where our friend Beauregard makes his humble home
At the edge of a river
In a cottage of stone
No wife or children he fares it alone
And each day at noon at the village's square
You're bound to see Beauregard bartering there
Singing and dancing as he peddles his wares
Silly but simple no worries or cares
At six in the evening at the local saloon
Beauregard breaks out his bamboo bassoon
It makes the men jealous
But the ladies they swoon
Life of the party no matter the room

By midnight the crowd has cleared out save the usual crowd
And Beau buys us drinks and we all gather round
For the story he's told we've all heard before
But we still hold him in high regard
The ballad of Beauregard the badly burned bard

See when he was younger
A lad of eighteen
Beauregard entered the royal marines
To fight for his country
Or die for his queen
Training and combat became his routine
One moonless night
The horizon was black
Beauregard lay sound asleep in his rack
Abruptly awoken
By a thunderous crack
The commonwealth's capital was under attack
So Beau donned his armor
Preparing for war
Made his way up to the battlement floor
Expecting to skirmish with an enemy corps
Instead he was met with a deafening roar

As a dragon flew over the castle besieging with flames
He carefully drew the ballista and trusted his aim
With a spear in his neck
The dragon withdrew
And as for our friend Beauregard
They thanked him by making him the captain of the guard

11 years later
Three weeks to the day
Beau felt a rather impending dismay
He wasn't sure how
But he knew right away
The infamous dragon was headed their way
Soon as predicted
Just as he had feared
The flying leviathan finally appeared
Beau told his army
To ready their spears
He'd been awaiting this moment for years
In less than an instant
The monster aggressed
Beauregard stood there and puffed out his chest
He ordered his army
They were not to rest
Until they were free of their unwanted guest

As the dragon approached it was filled up with harpoons and darts
It started to fall as it vaulted the walls and ramparts
And as it collapsed it spit one final flame
That left his great conqueror scarred
From then on old Beauregard was chronically charred.

30 years service
He gave to the crown
Until it was time to put the armaments down
He left the great city
For a cozier town
Where he's not nearly as dearly renowned
Done with duty
His service was true
Beauregard settled on what he would do
He learned a few tricks
And an instrument too
Live entertainment is what he'd pursue
Now his is a story
We all can admire
I'd like to be like that when I can retire
But minus the dragon
And without all the fire
Beauregard leaves us enthralled and inspired

In spite of the obstacles Beauregard made a great life
He hopes through his art he can help others manage their strife
And a statue still stands in the royal courtyard
The realm holds him in high regard
The Ballad of Beauregard The Badly Burned Bard
The Ballad of Beauregard The Badly Burned Bard
The Ballad of Beauregard The Badly Burned Bard