TV Hype - Commercial Session Outtake

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Mothers of Invention
I'm Frank, and here's Jim
Say hello, Jim
Hello, people
And this is Howard
Hi, folks
Say hello again, Jim, that wasn't very
Hello, everybody out there

Hot Beats!

This is Howard
Hi there
This is Mark
Hello

Okay, here's the deal
We have this movie that we just finished called 200 Motels
Right
Mmm

Boy, is it neat, too
Uh, listen, this movie is, uh—well, it was a little bit
Weird for the people at United Artists when they first saw it
I mean, it was a little hard to, uh, explain exactly what was
Going on when they went in and, uh, saw it for the first time

What I'm trying to say is they ran out of the
Screening room just before we got our budget to
Prepare the, uh, advertising campaign for this film
Left us a little short, folks, and with red cheeks
Oh, listen, it's really not that bad
We have a lavish advertising budget to spend
On this film, and we're spending it wisely
We know that you out there in Radio Land also watch television and
You want to get a little glimpse of what this film is all about

So we have spared no expense in preparing for you the most
Fantastic television commercial in the best possible prime time slot
And we want you all to watch it because we
Only get a chance to show it once this week

And if you'll all pay close attention, the disc jockey
On this station will tell you what time it's going to
Be on, what channel it's going to be on, and I want
You all to watch this 200 Motels television commercial
Yay

Okay, now do it again, now you say the same thing
Huh?
Or a variation thereof, now you give the message
Oh, me?
Yeah

Hi, hi there, hi

We're the Mothers of Invention
I'm Howard

I'm Jim, hi everyone
I'm Mark, hi Jim

I'm Ian and Aynsley and Don Preston and also Frank
Yeah, and we just, uh, we just filmed this incredible motion picture

And I, I personally, now honestly and not
Being involved at all, have to recommend it
I mean, not just to you, but all the members
Of your family and your close friends
Not only that, all the people who are on the
Medicine Ball Caravan, they should watch it
Everybody should watch it because it's
Especially them
Social import

It's of social import and the film just hits home, what can I say?

The thing is that we really went over budget
I mean, the film is so lavish, you can't believe
The star-studded cast, the incredible costumes
Who's in the movie?
Oh, the Mothers of Invention for a starter
Theodore Bikel
Ringo Starr
Keith Moon
Hot Beats
Yeah, mystery

Ow Os, all that stuff
The movie's great
But we ran over budget, and United Artists only gave us a mere penance
So we said, well, we can either schlep and have a rancid commercial on
Nine times a week, or just go all out and open our wallets to the
World and say, this is what we can do, and only
Have enough money to air it once, but sparing
No expense, we've gone ahead and done just that
And your local announcer, right here on your very own
Teenage station, will now tell you all the rancid details

Hi, we're the Mothers of Invention

We just did this movie, now you can't believe it
This is a cool movie
It's called 200 Motels, that's right, and it's a United Artists
Release starring the Mothers of Invention
Theodore Bikel, and Ringo Starr

Frank Zappa did the whole thing and it's really cool, it's
Far out and funny, lavish costumes, you can't even believe it
A lot of dancers, there's even some naked things, you know, but
It's nothing that you couldn't take your classmates to see or your
Mom and dad, they'd really get off beyond their wildest dreams

Listen, a funny thing happened, we spent so much money
Schlepping our hearts out, trying to make this movie a
Sincere and valuable audience-entertainer relationship kind
Of an experience, like Esalen Institute, you know, that we
Just didn't have any bread left for a big television campaign

So I want to tell you, we have booked one commercial this
Week on your local television station, it's prime time, folks
This is when all of you are gathered around the tube watching
We know you'll be there, but just to remind you, the Mothers'
Snappy lavish 200 Motels commercial will be on the station
At the time that your local DJ guy will tell you right now
Take it away, local DJ guy

Hi, I'm Eddie Sincere for the Mothers of Invention

Now these hard-working lads have just come back from London
Yes, where they have spared no expense to film a
Movie for you and your whole family called 200 Motels
That's right, Frank Zappa's 200 Motels with the
Mothers of Invention, Theodore Bikel, and Ringo Starr
Mystery, hot beats, romance, ow ooh, you're gonna love it to death
Now ladies and gentlemen, the Mothers came back to town
And they said, are you kidding? We've spent over budget
We can't even afford a television commercial now

But the brilliant people at United Artists have said
Listen you guys, here's the budget, run with it
So we've got one lavish commercial that we're gonna sock to you
And here's your local DJ guy to tell you
Just when and where it'll be socked to you

Hi, we're the Mothers of Invention

We just made this movie, you know

It's called 200 Motels

It's pretty far out

Frank Zappa, you know, the guy's a little weird

But it's got the Mothers of Invention in it

And Theodore Bikel, Ringo Starr, a lot of groupies, oh yeah, Keith
Moon, the Royal Philharmonic, singers and dancers, lavish costuming
I mean, we went out on a limb for you folks because we
Really believe the artist and the entertainer share
Something so valuable with each other that it's a, it's
Almost a religious, what can I say, Siddhartha, you know?
So we came back to town and we said, let's blow the
Rest of the budget and really make a snazzy commercial
For these people that they can watch on the television
The first Mothers of Invention television commercial

And it's coming to your neighborhood, boys and girls

It's gonna be socked to your very eyes
And ears on your own colored tube

You can get out of it
You can have a beer in your hand and your undershirt on

Have the little lady fix you up a can of beans, you know what I mean?
Put your feet up and pet the dog and get out your
Straights and sit there and wait for it, ladies
And gentlemen, because here it comes, here it comes
See it coming, see it coming

Your local DJ guy's gonna tell you right now where and when to
Glue your eyes to the boob tube for the Mystery Mothers commercial
Take it away