I Keed

[00:02.07] I thought my CD was done
[00:03.33] But that's not what they say
[00:04.64] "Do an insult track, we need it for radio play"
[00:07.74] Cram in the names, I'll take a long hard pee
[00:09.52] Time to mess up the biz like an MP3
[00:12.57] American Idols, that's who I look for
[00:14.58] In the poop section of my local record store
[00:17.50] Ruben or clay, oh which should I pick
[00:19.54] It's like choosing which puddle of vomit to lick
[00:22.20] And when I want something even more fruity and fake
[00:25.17] I look up 'N' for N'Sync or 'T' for Timberlake
[00:27.36] So many skills Justin's making a buck at
[00:29.77] Does he rap? Does he sing? He doesn't know what to suck at
[00:32.37] Now as for the bitches, let's give Britney thanks
[00:34.63] For the face that launched a million pre-teen skanks
[00:37.80] You were a virgin, that had to be hard
[00:39.53] You've had more bones in your mouth than a St. Bernard
[00:42.20] I keed, I keed!
[00:43.52] (He just make a little joke)
[00:44.83] I joke with you!
[00:46.04] (LIttle dog, little joke)
[00:47.14] I keed, I keed!
[00:48.51] (He just make a little joke)
[00:49.76] Yeah, you're a great actress too
[00:50.98] (Little dog, little joke)
[00:51.86] Now let's go to Wal-mart where they won't sell my CD
[00:54.69] That company's nuts are in a jar in aisle 3
[00:57.57] But you can see Christina in all her sluthood
[00:59.95] It's like watching porn but the music's not as good
[01:02.48] I want to stuff my TV's crotch with a dollar
[01:04.94] Still I'd hump you if I could wear my flea collar
[01:07.52] You're looser than my poop after eating Honeydew
[01:09.93] Only 50 Cent's been plugged more than you
[01:12.38] And yet you're too old for Fred Durst to desire
[01:14.98] He's checking out the cast of "Lizzie McGuire"
[01:17.54] Soon Fred will try to get Mandy Moore
[01:19.86] To open for him, and I don't mean on tour
[01:22.85] You're not the first, Durst, poor R Kelly
[01:25.04] His videos premiere at the LAPD
[01:27.40] I believe they set up an innocent guy
[01:29.96] You know what else? I believe I can fly
[01:32.41] I keed, I keed!
[01:33.77] (He just make a little joke)
[01:34.83] I joke with you!
[01:36.18] (LIttle dog, little joke)
[01:37.41] I keed, I keed!
[01:38.64] (He just make a little joke)
[01:39.82] I believe Michael too, yes.
[01:41.41] (Little dog, little joke)
[01:42.36] Now look how friggin cool those guys from the Strokes are
[01:45.06] Their riffs are three times as old as my jokes are
[01:47.55] Hey White Stripes guy, is that your wife or your sister
[01:50.11] Shouldn't you be playing country music, mister?
[01:52.67] Hey Coldplay, maybe you should be Coldsore
[01:55.02] Back when you were U2 I liked you so much more
[01:57.69] Somehow your song "Yellow" reminds me of pee
[02:00.03] I think 'cause when it's over, it's a big relief to me
[02:02.72] Now Pink, is that your hair or a tattoo?
[02:05.17] I didn't know Supercuts had a drive-thru
[02:07.69] Yo Nelly, what kind of name is that?
[02:10.00] That's about as gangsta as an easter bonnet hat
[02:12.51] And Snoop says he's clean now? You make the call
[02:14.92] The guy's higher than Billy Joel's Cholesterol
[02:17.52] Snoop, there's only room for one dog, putz
[02:20.10] And I can rap, can you lick your own nuts?
[02:22.49] Poop Diddy, are you in show business still?
[02:25.06] I didn't know wearing a suit was a skill
[02:27.76] J Lo, J Lo, the giant tail-o
[02:30.04] For a doggy's nose, thst's the Holy Grail-o
[02:32.51] Shakira's butt's fine, but it won't hold still you see
[02:35.27] I sniffed Elton John's tush just for all the history
[02:37.71] I sniffed J-Lo's ass and got too touchy-feely
[02:40.22] She let loose a bomb that was bigger than "Gigli"
[02:42.74] I keed, I keed!
[02:44.04] (He just make a little joke)
[02:45.01] I joke with you
[02:46.65] (Little dog, little joke)
[02:47.68] I keed, I keed!
[02:49.03] (Nothing wrong with your butt)
[02:50.06] I even like... I don't like Affleck
[02:52.65] (Nothing wrong with your butt)
[02:53.19] Avril Lavigne punk queen, now there's a kidder
[02:55.52] Go back north, Celine needs a babysitter
[02:57.86] Philip Glass, atonal ass, you're not immune
[03:00.77] Write a song with a fucking tune
[03:02.65] And on the list of pussies, don't leave off MTV
[03:05.26] I scared them and Eminem so they gave the hook to me
[03:07.60] Slim Shady, why do you find me so scary?
[03:10.27] We're just two regular dudes who banged Mariah Carey
[03:13.13] Wipe off that frown, just do without it
[03:15.00] Hey my mom was a bitch, but I don't go writing songs about it
[03:18.57] I keed, I keed!
[03:20.45] (He just make a little joke)
[03:21.52] I joke with you!
[03:23.40] (Little dog, little joke)
[03:24.05] I keed, I keed!
[03:25.41] (He just make a little joke)
[03:26.27] You know I never meant to hurt you
[03:28.01] (Never meant to make you cry)
[03:29.06] I keed, I keed!
[03:30.38] (He just make a little joke)
[03:31.59] It's a joke you see!
[03:32.87] (Laffy, laffy, laffy, ha, ha)
[03:34.00] Let's stop hating each other
[03:35.83] (He just make a little joke)
[03:36.41] Leave the pooping to me
[03:38.61] (Rock it to me, sock it to me)
[03:39.08] Rock it to me, sock it to me
[03:40.40] Rock it to me, sock it to me
[03:41.85] Rock it to me, sock it I'm a rapping dog
[03:44.15] And I'm here to say
[03:45.55] Rappa rappa rappa
[03:46.85] A tappa huppa huppa
[03:49.28] I kid.
[03:50.72]