Five Years

[00:00.54] Hey baby, uh, it's me, uhm
[00:04.30] Our anniversary is coming up
[00:05.59] It's a pretty big one
[00:07.52] And, uhm, I wrote a song for you
[00:12.28] So, I'm just leaving you this voicemail because, uhm
[00:15.25] I want this song to begin with this voicemail
[00:19.72] Like, I want the voicemail to play in the beginning of it
[00:22.91] So, uh, if you could just download this voicemail when you get it and then text it to me
[00:27.92] Uhm, you might need to, like, download another app to
[00:32.79] Download the, I don't know if you can rip your voicemail right off your phone
[00:36.87] You might need to, like
[00:38.35] Just Google it
[00:39.25] Don't call me and ask me
[00:41.91] 'Cause I know, I know what you're gonna do, you're gonna
[00:43.65] You're gonna get this and you're gonna
[00:45.10] Just think you just can't do it and you're gonna call me
[00:47.28] But then I'm just gonna Google it
[00:48.66] So just you Google it, you're an adult, you can figure it out
[00:51.28] Uhm, so just figure it out and text me the voicemail, uhm
[00:55.34] Immediately, if you wouldn't mind
[00:57.08] Like, right when you get this
[00:58.42] Thank you, uhm, I love you, bye
[01:02.65] You're my best friend
[01:04.16] I love you (love you, love you)
[01:07.52] You know me and I know you (know you, know you)
[01:12.95] We got problems that we've been through (been through, been through)
[01:18.15] We got shit that we'll get through, uh
[01:21.93] You think I'm rude to you
[01:24.68] You think I am the worst
[01:26.74] Because I ask when you suck my dick
[01:29.29] You take out your Invisalign first
[01:32.52] Come on
[01:33.14] Five years, five years
[01:35.08] Still you, still me, still here
[01:38.45] Five years, five years, baby
[01:40.83] Five years, five years
[01:43.53] We order Chinese
[01:44.88] I'm eating my dumplings
[01:46.45] You reach over and you take my dumpling
[01:49.05] You don't even say, "Do you mind?" or nothing
[01:51.57] Why would you assume that you're entitled to a dumpling?
[01:54.42] So I look at you
[01:56.11] You look back at me like, "What the fuck did I do?"
[01:58.12] If you really wanted some dim sum
[02:00.74] Then, you really shoulda gotten some when we put in the order"
[02:05.16] You say, "You're a psycho
[02:06.92] And I, I don't wanna fight, so let's just drop this
[02:10.62] It's not a big deal"
[02:12.63] Okay, but for the record you owe me a dumpling
[02:17.21] I mean it, I won't forget
[02:21.78] You owe me a dumpling or a dumpling equivalent
[02:24.92] Five years, five years
[02:26.53] Still you, still me, still here
[02:30.03] Five years, five years, baby
[02:32.68] Five years, five years
[02:35.45] We found a spider in the house
[02:37.70] You freaked and you jumped up onto the couch
[02:40.34] Since I was close and able
[02:42.89] I jumped up on the coffee table
[02:45.17] You said, "You should kill that"
[02:47.38] I said, "Um, no, fuck that"
[02:50.08] You said, "Come on, be a man"
[02:53.80] What?
[02:54.93] You're a total anti-sexist, a patriarchy fighter
[03:00.17] But your whole worldview collapses the moment there's a spider
[03:05.26] Cool, I get it, this is the real you
[03:08.76] It's a pleasure, nice to meet you
[03:10.81] Shit like this brings the movement down
[03:13.64] Everyone's a feminist until there is a spider around
[03:16.42] Five years, five years
[03:18.27] Still you, still me, still here
[03:21.41] Five years, five years, baby
[03:24.15] Five years, five years
[03:26.58] How come every time I need to take a poo in the bathroom
[03:29.83] You, out of the blue, need to use the bathroom?
[03:31.99] Just use the guest room bathroom
[03:34.65] That's why we got two bathrooms
[03:37.16] Just use the guest room bathroom
[03:39.61] That's why we got two bathrooms
[03:44.28] And you know
[03:44.57]