The Irony of It All

[00:06.33] Hello, hello
[00:08.28] My name's Terry and I'm a law abider
[00:10.61] There's nothing I like more than getting fired up on beer
[00:13.54] And when the weekends here I exercise my right to get paralytic and fight
[00:17.82] Good bloke fairly
[00:19.11] But I get well lairy when geezers look at me funny
[00:21.96] Bounce 'em round like bunnies
[00:23.76] I'm likely to cause mischief
[00:25.55] Good clean grief you must believe and I ain't no thief
[00:28.41] Law abiding and all, all legal
[00:30.77] And who cares about my liver when it feels good
[00:33.02] What you need is some real manhood
[00:35.29] Rasher rasher, Barney and Kasha putting peoples backs up
[00:39.53] Public disorder, I'll give you public disorder
[00:42.42] I down eight pints and run all over the place
[00:44.77] Spit in the face of an officer
[00:46.59] See if that bothers ya
[00:47.90] 'Cause I never broke a law in my life
[00:50.11] Someday I'm gonna settle down with a wife
[00:52.52] Come on lads, lets have another fight (Eh, hello)
[00:54.22] My name's Tim and I'm a criminal
[00:56.00] In the eyes of society I need to be in jail
[00:58.59] For the choice of herbs I inhale
[01:00.06] This ain't no wholesale operation
[01:02.36] Just a few eighths and some playstations' my vocation
[01:05.24] I pose a threat to the nation
[01:06.81] And down the station the police hold no patience
[01:09.57] Let's talk space and time
[01:11.21] I like to get deep sometimes and think about Einstein
[01:14.03] And Carl Young
[01:15.14] And old kung fu movies I like to see
[01:17.34] Pass the hydrator please
[01:19.21] Yeah, I'm floating on thin air
[01:20.85] Going to Amsterdam in the new year
[01:22.48] Top gear there
[01:24.03] 'Cause I take pride in my hobby
[01:25.76] Home made bongs using my engineering degree
[01:28.45] Dear leaders, please legalise weed for these reasons
[01:31.49] Like I was saying to him
[01:32.92] I told him, "top with me and you won't leave"
[01:35.46] So I smacked him in the head and downed another carling
[01:38.47] Bada bada bing for the lad's night
[01:40.55] Mad fight, his face's a sad sight
[01:42.96] Vodka and snake bite
[01:44.40] Going on like a right geez, he's a twat
[01:47.27] Shouldn't have looked at me like that
[01:48.83] Anyway, I'm an upstanding citizen
[01:51.10] If a war came along I'd be on the front line with 'em
[01:53.77] Can't stand crime either them hooligans on heroin
[01:57.05] Drugs and criminals, those thugs on the penny coloured will be the downfall of society
[02:01.12] I've got all the anger pent up inside of me
[02:03.40] You know I don't see why I should be the criminal
[02:05.95] How can something with no recorded fatalities be illegal?
[02:09.11] And how many deaths are there per year from alcohol?
[02:12.07] I just completed gran tourismo on the hardest setting
[02:14.91] We pose no threat on my settee
[02:16.87] Oh the pizza's here, will someone let him in please?
[02:19.19] We didn't order chicken
[02:20.39] Not a problem we'll pick it out
[02:22.07] I doubt they meant to mess us about
[02:23.70] After all, we're all adults not louts
[02:26.13] As I was saying, we're friendly peaceful people
[02:28.51] We're not the ones out there causing trouble
[02:30.71] We just sit in this hazy bubble with our quarters
[02:33.28] Discussing how beautiful Gail Porter is
[02:35.61] Mtv, bbc 2, channel 4 is on until six in the morning
[02:39.65] Then at six in the morning the sun dawns and it's my bedtime
[02:42.15] Causing trouble, your stinking rabble
[02:44.65] Boys saying I'm the lad who's spoiling it
[02:46.95] You're on drugs, it really bugs me when people try and tell me I'm a thug
[02:50.98] Just for getting drunk
[02:52.12] I like getting drunk
[02:53.52] 'Cause I'm an upstanding citizen
[02:55.23] If a war came along I'd be on the front line with 'em
[02:57.88] Now Terry you're repeating yourself
[02:59.73] But that's okay, drunk people can't help that
[03:02.00] A chemical reaction inside your brain causes you to forget what you're saying
[03:05.72] What?
[03:06.43] I know exactly what I'm saying!
[03:08.08] I'm perfectly sane!
[03:09.37] You stinking student lameo
[03:11.15] Go get a job and stop robbing us of our taxes
[03:14.39] Erm, well actually according to research
[03:16.03] Government funding for further education pales in insignificance
[03:19.37] When compared to how much they spend on repairing
[03:21.76] Lairy drunk people at the weekend
[03:23.55] In casualty wards all over the land
[03:25.03] Why you cheeky little swine, come here
[03:27.05] I'm gonna batter you. come here
[03:28.64]