Deconstruction

[00:00.17] Find your way, find your way
[00:02.37] Find your way, find your way
[00:04.45] Find your way back home
[00:07.36] No, time won't take too long, put it behind you
[00:10.86] You can still find your way, find your way
[00:15.15] Find your way, find your way
[00:16.06] Find your way back home
[00:18.33] When you feel too far gone
[00:21.79] He can still find you
[00:22.73] I deconstructed long before people knew what to call it
[00:26.45] I know that's scary to some folks, so hold on, let me pause it
[00:29.14] Take you back to how it started, maybe you relate
[00:32.19] Maybe you ain't never met me, but you know my pain
[00:34.73] Focused on Jesus in Atlanta, fresh from Tennessee
[00:37.32] Wasn't legalistic, catch me with a cup of Hennessy
[00:40.55] I would speak at churches, hang with leaders and such
[00:42.80] You know, Judah, Piper, and Keller, Tony Evans was clutch
[00:45.88] I was so involved, never thought that I could fall, y'all
[00:48.77] Right before the fall of 2015, I was all off
[00:51.82] It involved killing Michael Brown, had me feeling down
[00:54.43] Tweeted 'bout it, Christians call me clown, I was losing ground
[00:57.72] And Voddie was a hero of mine, met with him plenty times
[01:00.71] This time, when he spoke, it cut me deeper than I realized
[01:03.69] Doubled-down, spoke about my pain, I was met with blame
[01:06.51] "Shame on you, 'Crae, stop crying, get back to Jesus' name"
[01:09.33] Cut me deep, I was losing sleep, "God, ain't these Your sheep?"
[01:12.47] Why they hate me like they do? Maybe grace is really cheap
[01:15.15] Maybe this is all a lie, they don't really love me
[01:17.82] They just love it when I say the things they wanna hear in public
[01:20.62] They're like following they God mean turnin' on Black people
[01:23.68] Is Black evil? Why do they hate and attack people?
[01:26.59] I'm vulnerable and cautious, I'm reading Baldwin
[01:29.10] Ta-Nehisi got me thinking, now I'm going all in
[01:32.33] I ain't know if God was real no mo'
[01:34.36] Every day we gettin' killed and I can't deal no mo'
[01:37.06] I started slipping in the darkness, I'm feeling heartless
[01:40.09] Christians got me traumatized, I don't know who God is
[01:43.12] Drinking liquor for my therapy, and smoking Mary tree
[01:46.08] Maybe I should get divorced, I don't know why she married me
[01:48.78] What's the purpose? What's the point?
[01:50.36] Nothing matters, I'm just matter, I'm just atoms
[01:52.43] Ain't no Eve and ain't no Adam
[01:53.83] Where the Xannies? Let me at 'em
[01:55.34] I was floating in confusion until I dropped
[01:57.77] Woke up in a clinical depression, then it all stopped
[02:00.75] Sinnin' like Saul 'til I hit Damascus
[02:03.49] God knocked me off the mule 'fore I hit the casket
[02:06.08] Heard a faint voice calling me late, I couldn't sleep
[02:08.93] It said, "'Crae I know you love Me, I need you to feed My sheep"
[02:12.06] Tears streaming as I weep, felt I heard the Lord speak
[02:14.60] I've been running from You, but You never ran away from me
[02:17.68] It was people that hurt me, it wasn't God, though
[02:20.48] I let the church trauma turn into a God wound
[02:23.11] I learned the western world has twisted up the Scriptures, so when I re-enlisted
[02:27.37] I learned the eastern context the way that Jesus meant it
[02:30.11] My peace has been cemented, my soul has been re-lifted
[02:33.05] My deconstruction ended, reconstruction is beginning
[02:35.84] My peace has been cemented, my soul has been re-lifted
[02:38.85] My deconstruction ended, reconstruction is beginning
[02:41.87] Find your way, find your way
[02:43.98] Find your way, find your way
[02:46.24] Find your way back home
[02:48.67] No, time won't take too long, put it behind you
[02:52.67] You can still find your way, find your way
[02:55.58] Find your way, find your way
[02:57.63] Find your way back home
[03:00.43] When you feel too far gone
[03:02.98] He can still find you
[03:06.03]
[03:55.96] I'll never be the same
[03:58.12] Be the same
[04:00.08] I'm comin' back to you
[04:02.73] Coming back
[04:02.97]