All-American Prophet

[00:00.01] You all know the Bible
[00:02.15] Is made of Testaments Old and New
[00:05.89] You've been told it's just those two parts
[00:09.02] Or only one, if you're a Jew
[00:12.66] But what if I were to tell you
[00:15.69] There's a fresh third part out there?
[00:18.85] Which was found by a hip, new prophet
[00:21.85] Who had a little
[00:23.70] Donny Osmond flair
[00:30.72] Have you heard of the all-American Prophet?
[00:34.99] The blonde-haired, blue-eyed voice of God
[00:38.50] He didn't come from the Middle East
[00:40.83] Like those other holy men
[00:43.26] No, God's favorite prophet was All-American
[00:48.77] I'm gonna take you back to Biblical times 1823
[00:52.72] An American man named Joe livin' on a farm in the holy land of Rochester, New York
[00:57.56] You mean the Mormon prophet Joseph Smith?
[01:00.26] That's right, that young man spoke to God
[01:02.27] He spoke to God?
[01:03.19] And God said, "Joe, people really need to know
[01:05.39] That the Bible isn't two parts
[01:06.84] There's a Part Three to the Bible, Joe
[01:09.37] And I, God, have anointed you
[01:11.41] To dig up this Part Three that is buried by the tree
[01:13.77] On the hill in your backyard"
[01:15.23] Wow, God says go to your backyard and start digging, that makes perfect sense
[01:19.63] Joseph Smith went up to that hill
[01:21.72] And dug where he was told
[01:23.63] And deep in the ground, Joseph found
[01:25.91] Shining plates of gold
[01:28.29] What are these golden plates?
[01:30.17] Who buried them here, and why?
[01:32.04] Then appeared an angel
[01:34.05] His name was Moroni
[01:37.60] I am Moroni
[01:40.44] The All-American Angel (All-American)
[01:43.58] My people lived here long, long ago
[01:47.17] This is the history of my race
[01:49.64] Please read the words within
[01:51.55] We were Jews, who met with Christ but we were All-American
[01:56.70] But don't let anybody see these plates except for you
[02:02.26] They are only for you to see
[02:05.78] Even if people ask you to show the plates to them, don't
[02:10.83] Just copy them on to normal paper
[02:14.66] Even though this might make them question if the plates are real or not
[02:19.47] This is sort of what God is going for
[02:25.10] Joseph took the plates home and wrote down what he found inside
[02:29.09] He turned those plates into a book
[02:31.24] Then rushed into town and cried
[02:33.10] "Hey, God spoke to me and gave me
[02:35.25] This blessed ancient tome
[02:37.33] He hath commanded me to publish it
[02:39.39] And stick it in every home"
[02:41.51] Wow! So the Bible is really a trilogy?
[02:44.73] And the Book of Mormon is Return of the Jedi?
[02:47.77] I'm interested
[02:49.83] Now, many people didn't believe the Prophet Joseph Smith
[02:53.79] They thought he'd made up this Part Three that was buried by a tree, on the hill in his backyard
[02:58.26] Liar
[02:59.12] But Joe said
[03:00.10] This is no lie; I speak to God all the time
[03:02.11] And he told me to head west
[03:04.12] So I'll take my Part Three, from the hill with the tree
[03:06.39] Feel free if you'd like to come along with me
[03:08.40] To the promised land
[03:09.54] The promised land?
[03:10.73] Paradise, on the West coast
[03:12.39] Nothing but fruit and fields, as far as the eye can see
[03:17.94] Have you heard of the All-American prophet?
[03:22.60] He found a brand new book about Jesus Christ
[03:26.65] We're following him to paradise
[03:28.98] We call ourselves Mormons
[03:31.10] And our new religion is All-American
[03:36.49] Wow! How much does it cost!?
[03:38.66] The Mormons kept on searching for that place to settle down
[03:42.82] But every time they thought they'd found it
[03:44.88] They got kicked out of town
[03:46.93] And even though people wanted to see the golden plates
[03:51.29] Joseph never showed 'em
[03:53.38] I've got maggots in my scrotum
[04:02.59] Um, okay?
[04:04.47] Well, anyway
[04:06.10] Now comes the part of our story
[04:08.85] That gets a little bit sad
[04:12.18] On the way to the promised land
[04:15.27] Mormons made people mad
[04:18.81] Joseph was shot by an angry mob
[04:22.09] And knew he'd soon be done
[04:25.51] You must lead the people now
[04:29.35] My good friend, Brigham Young
[04:33.83] Oh, God, why are You letting me die?
[04:40.32] Without having me show people the plates?
[04:43.79] They'll have no proof I was telling the truth or not
[04:48.15] They'll have to believe it just 'cause
[04:52.41] Oh, I guess that's kinda what you were going for
[05:00.17] Blarg
[05:02.46] The Prophet Joseph Smith died for what he believed in
[05:06.74] But his followers, they kept on heading west
[05:10.47] And Brigham Young led them to paradise
[05:13.50] A sparkling land in Utah they called Salt Lake City
[05:18.68] And there the Mormons multiplied
[05:22.01] And made big Mormon families
[05:25.09] Generation to generation
[05:27.22] Until finally they made me
[05:30.80] And now it's my job to lead you where those early settlers were led, long ago
[05:39.99] Have you heard of the All-American prophet?
[05:43.32] Kevin Price
[05:44.60] The next in line to be the voice of God?
[05:47.41] My best friend
[05:48.26] He's gonna do something incredible
[05:50.52] And be Joseph Smith again
[05:52.61] 'Cause Kevin Price, the prophet, is All-American
[06:01.22] If you order now, we'll also throw in a set of steak knives
[06:05.24] All-American