Joseph Smith American Moses

[00:00.01] And now we wish to honour you with the story of Joseph Smith The American Moses!
[00:09.40] Well this is very good, praise Christ
[00:13.64] Mormon!
[00:17.24] I'm going to take you back in time! (mormon)
[00:20.11] To the United States year 1823 (mormon)
[00:23.50] A small and odd village called oopstate New York (oopstate)
[00:27.29] There was Disease, and famine (so sick)
[00:30.59] But also in the village lived a simple farmer who would change everything
[00:35.77] His name was Joseph Smith
[00:40.04] Ha-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya
[00:44.47] Joseph Smith, American Moses!
[00:47.35] Praise be to Joseph! American prophet man
[00:51.27] Ay! My name is Joseph Smith, and I'm going to fuck this baby!
[00:56.02] What?!
[00:57.11] No no Joseph! Don't fuck the baby!
[01:00.73] Joseph Smith, don't fuck the baby!
[01:04.17] Suddenly the clouds parted
[01:06.41] And Joseph Smith was visited by God!
[01:09.28] Joseph Smith, do not fuck a baby
[01:13.74] I'll get rid of your AIDS if you fuck this frog
[01:17.79] Ha-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya
[01:22.83] Joseph Smith fucked the frog god gave him
[01:25.67] And his AIDS went away!
[01:28.20] Then a great wizard named Moroni came down from the Starship Enterprise
[01:32.23] Joseph Smith! Your village is shit!
[01:36.43] You should lead the villagers to a new village
[01:40.05] Take these fucking golden plates (away)
[01:43.55] And on the plates were written the directions to a new land
[01:48.12] Sal Tlay Ka Siti! (Sal Tlay Ka Siti!)
[01:54.32] Joseph tried to convince all the villagers to follow him and his golden plates
[01:59.53] Liberation! Equality! No more slavery for oopstate Mormon people!
[02:05.67] I got de golden plates! (gold plates)
[02:08.97] I gunna lead the people! (we head west)
[02:11.36] We gotta stick together! (for months)
[02:13.80] We gotta help each other! (we will for months)
[02:16.29] And so we climb the mountain! (we head west)
[02:18.57] And we cross the river (we head west)
[02:20.99] And we fight the oppression! (for months)
[02:23.46] By being nice to everyone (we are Mormons)
[02:26.09] Not so fast Mormons! You shall not pass my mountain!
[02:30.38] (Down from the mountain look who comes! The American warman, Brigham Young!
[02:33.95] Yes! I am Brigham Young!
[02:37.47] I cut off my daughter's clitoris
[02:39.69] That made god angry so he turned my nose into a clit for punishment!
[02:45.03] (Brigham Young, his nose was a clitoris)
[02:48.08] What will you do Joseph? Will you fight the clitoris man?
[02:52.15] Not fight him, help him! (oh)
[02:55.98] Joseph Smith took his magical fuck frog and rubbed it upon Brigham Young's clit-face
[03:02.28] And behold, Brigham was cured!
[03:06.69] Joseph Smith! Magical AIDS frog!
[03:10.29] Brigham Young, frog on his clit-face!
[03:14.03] Brigham Young was so grateful, he decided to join the Mormons and their journey
[03:20.89] Compassion!
[03:22.68] Courtesy!
[03:23.50] Let's be really fucking polite to everyone!
[03:27.32] I got de golden plates! (gold plates)
[03:29.96] I gunna lead the people! (we head west)
[03:32.50] We gotta stick together! (for months)
[03:35.03] Now comes the part of our story that gets a little bit sad (oh)
[03:42.13] After travelling for so long
[03:44.60] The Mormons ran out of fresh water
[03:47.09] And became sick, with dysentery
[03:51.33] (Water go to the water, water go to the cup
[03:54.37] Cup go to the stomach, shit come out the butt
[03:58.49] Shit go in the water, water go in the cup
[04:01.63] Shit go down the stomach, shit come out the butt)
[04:04.49] Oh fuck!
[04:06.25] Oh no! The prophet Joseph Smith is now getting sick!
[04:11.71] (Shit go in the water, water go in the cup
[04:14.41] Cup go to the thirsty, shit go to the stomach
[04:16.94] Blood come out the butt
[04:18.25] Blood go in the water, water go in the cup
[04:20.85] Cup to the the cup
[04:22.09] Shit blood in the stomach, shit blood in the mouth
[04:24.73] Shit blood on the insides, water come out the butt)
[04:27.62] Brigham Young, you must take the golden plates and lead the Mormons to the promise land!
[04:37.56] Desperation!
[04:39.22] Mortality!
[04:40.38] Loss of faith!
[04:41.77] Ah, got the golden plates (gold plates)
[04:47.20] I gunna lead the people (we head west)?
[04:49.58] Even though their prophet had died
[04:51.97] The Mormons stuck together
[04:53.86] And helped each other
[04:55.22] And were really nice to everyone they came across
[04:58.32] And then one day, the Mormons finally found
[05:02.16] Sal Tlay Ka Siti! (Sal Tlay Ka Siti!)
[05:08.63] And then, the Mormons danced with ewoks
[05:12.45] And were greeted by Jesus!
[05:15.14] Welcome Mormons!
[05:16.98] Now, let's all have as many babies as we can
[05:20.69] And make big, Mormon families!
[05:24.43] Woohoo!
[05:28.64] Fuck your woman, fuck your man
[05:30.77] It is all part of God's plan
[05:33.13] Mormons help God as they can
[05:35.27] Here in Salt Lake City land!
[05:37.67] Thank you! Thank you
[05:40.92] For now we are fucking
[05:42.41] Thank you! Thank you
[05:45.50] Come god wants us fucking
[05:47.02] Thank you! Thank you
[05:50.18] But get back to fucking
[05:51.56] Thank you! Thank you god!
[05:56.27] Joseph Smith fuck frog
[05:57.81] Brigham Young clit face
[05:59.07] Shit come out the but
[06:00.50] Jesus says fuck fuck Mormons