Salt Beef Junkie

Ahhh! God bless my soul what can I do?
They say my salt beef dinner is a killer
It's got carcinogens and heavy duty fats
It could serve as an elephant filler
Well I'm as good as dead but I'm sure well fed
'Cause I love those buckets of riblets
I like to drink that liquor and chew those bones
Even though I'm picking up the giblets

Put on the beef, peas pudding and the greens
Carrots and turnips, can't you smell that steam?
(Some good, b'y)
Some new potatoes with a puddin' good and lumpy
No I just can't wait, I'm a salt beef junkie

Now some folks like to eat carrot sticks
'Cause they're afraid they might become gluttons
I don't like those rabbit foods
'Cause I'm afraid that I might pass buttons
Every Sunday morning while some folks fast
Or eat food that tastes real crappy
I got my salt beef dinner cooking on the stove
'Cause I wanna die real happy

Put on the beef, peas pudding and the greens
Carrots and turnips, can't you smell that steam?
(Sure can, b'y)
Some new potatoes with a puddin' good and lumpy
No I just can't wait, I'm a salt beef junkie

Jane Fonda likes to eat sesame seeds
And Twiggy likes low fat tofu
But they don't live in Newfoundland
Where the winter wind blows right through you
Now if they lived in Wesleyville
Where the north wind blows right vicious
They'd enjoy their salt beef dinner
Just like me and the missus

Put on the beef, peas pudding and the greens
Carrots and turnips, can't you smell that steam?
(Smells good, b'y)
Some new potatoes with a puddin' good and lumpy
No I just can't wait, I'm a salt beef junkie

I don't wanna be some health food freak
Who eats alfalfa and bean sprouts
I don't wanna live to a hundred and three
If I got to throw my beef out
When it comes right down to preparing the food
I don't want to germinate or shuck it
I'll take my chances on a salt beef dinner
While I keep my head in this bucket

Put on the beef, peas pudding and the greens
And the carrots and the turnips, can't you smell that steam?
(Some good, b'y)
Some new potatoes with a puddin' good and lumpy
No I just can't wait, I'm a salt beef junkie
No I just can't wait, I'm a salt beef junkie