Poker In The Sky

[00:30.93] Just trying to explain the unexplainable
[00:33.52] More than trying to attain the unattainable
[00:35.85] Trying to make it sustainable
[00:37.40] Collecting all the parts, see if they interchangeable
[00:40.09] Killing me slow, but I'm glad it's entertaining you
[00:43.87] Everyday it amaze me
[00:45.12] The same thinking that pay me the same thinking that plagues me
[00:47.93] How can I think I'm crazy? Sway me
[00:50.02] Cause to profit off of shit that aches me is actually pretty wavy
[00:54.11] I'm painting the perfect picture
[00:55.39] Only perfect cause the imperfections are highlighted
[00:57.91] To gross currency off of that kinda sickness
[01:00.53] Changes the meaning of mind my business
[01:03.17] Giving what was given to me
[01:04.95] So the soldiers come over unsober
[01:06.52] And call me Yoda instead of Joseph
[01:08.32] I be like "why they come to me for advice?"
[01:10.98] They should really come to me for a vice
[01:13.00] I got 'em all
[01:13.71] Got a counter full of liquor, pocket full of pills
[01:16.63] The illusion of control, I can tell you how it feels
[01:18.96] Accounts full of paper and the women I play with
[01:21.86] All got criminal bodies, innocent faces
[01:24.49] Come around and we have a ball, could have it all
[01:26.92] Well, I ran out of Adderall, but that's a matter of a call, check it
[01:30.58] Odds is they start telling me they hardships
[01:32.68] Regardless, they end up wanting hard dick, aww shit
[01:36.46] You would think they been ordained
[01:37.73] Got her legs in the air, she screaming the Lord's name
[01:40.33] I'm feeding her more game, more game, more game
[01:42.94] I started fucking her mind, that's when all them thoughts came
[01:46.27] She keep saying if I want her I should fight for her
[01:48.65] My plight for her says I don't know if I'm right for her
[01:51.29] Even so know there's a fire I ignite for her
[01:53.88] Staring at her ceiling, seeing me like I'm a nightcrawler
[01:57.13] It's like she love me, but she don't
[01:59.26] That's when she lose me, that's when she confuse me
[02:01.80] It's what I get appalled with, can't call it
[02:04.47] She think I should remove her hurt since I installed it
[02:07.08] But I wish she knew I was returned 2 birds
[02:09.62] Feel it hurt me more knowing I hurt you
[02:12.57] Even though it exists I don't ever bring it up
[02:14.91] We don't be doing nothing, but it's everything to us
[02:17.75] Presently she bring up the past and it's filthy
[02:20.44] You not talking to who I was or who I will be
[02:23.25] But that's my own assignment
[02:24.87] You want to take all the feelings and the time spent
[02:27.37] And give it realignment
[02:28.84] Check the catalog, lateral God
[02:30.97] I self-sabotage, I'd explain further, but I'd rather not
[02:34.27] Salute, on me, everybody have a shot
[02:36.88] I do it for the niggas they said wouldn't have a shot
[02:39.44] But some days are better than some days
[02:41.53] Still yet here I stand on numb legs
[02:44.48] Women don't give a fuck that I have these scars
[02:47.06] I'm fucking the same hoes that the athletes are
[02:49.62] What a rollercoaster, we argued and we sexed
[02:52.47] Face in her box, James Harden in her texts
[02:55.12] Nigga from the Clippers every morning text her "good morning"
[02:58.46] She be sleep, he just be talking to me, my nigga
[03:00.60] None of this is a pain to see
[03:02.77] I only care about her if she pertains to me
[03:05.43] Shit I'm tending to emergencies with urgency
[03:08.56] That urge in me is my daily fight in her purging me
[03:11.46] Fuck hoes, I ain't got time to be sprung now
[03:14.01] Grandpa's cancer just made it to his lungs now
[03:16.69] In 2012, docs gave him few months; wild
[03:19.03] He's alive somehow, outlived 2 sons, wow
[03:22.82] So no the observation
[03:24.67] Says he'll die quicker with chemo and radiation
[03:27.32] He ain't strong enough to even go through operation
[03:29.83] Know that death's coming, he just in the house waiting
[03:32.74] So you telling me there ain't a way to fix the shit?
[03:35.13] Or is grandpa too old for you to give a shit?
[03:38.29] Let's switch the shit, give you my predicament
[03:40.69] Wonder how you would feel if I was telling yours live with it
[03:44.19] And it's traveling to his heart soon
[03:46.06] Of course it all hit me like a harpoon
[03:48.86] I was in shock and then it was all clearer
[03:50.93] When he called me and asked me to be his pallbearer
[03:54.24] I was floored
[03:55.54] But then the next second was back
[03:57.02] To being self-centered, self-absorbed
[03:59.07] And it became about me, fought it off long enough
[04:01.98] I could help carry your weight, but I ain't strong enough
[04:04.60] But why do I have to be?
[04:05.84] This the shit I be naturally asking me, I'm such a catastrophe
[04:09.80] See me breaking down with my father in back of me
[04:12.47] So for me to attend, I'm trying to think of a strategy
[04:16.26] But I'm happy for my dad
[04:17.87] He was incarcerated, but his mama didn't make it
[04:20.47] So for him to get that chance again with you
[04:22.73] Means the world, he could be there til it end for you and me
[04:26.10] I bleed out through this pen for you
[04:28.13] Can't carry this around, gotta vent, it's due
[04:30.90] Cause now, grandpa'll be closer to his wife
[04:33.62] Have cards when I come, we playing poker in the sky
[04:38.03]