175 Months

[00:00.01] Admittance is the key to start the healin' right
[00:05.31] But I didn't wanna eat that humble pie, no, I

[00:09.27] Father God, forgive me
[00:12.46] It's been a couple years, there may be more that I ain't prayed
[00:14.71] Even longer I ain't been to church, God, I'm ashamed
[00:17.39] Embarrassed of my ways, but still, I'm askin' for Your grace
[00:20.03] Feel like I been led astray
[00:21.75] By the drinkin' and the spirits I let take me when I ride
[00:24.03] And the ladies in the night
[00:26.03] Most people, they got demons, I got angels that I fight
[00:27.87] Tryna save you from my plight
[00:29.43] I pray I make it to thе light
[00:30.59] South London where we liе
[00:32.07] Abdullah died at sixteen, and I still feel that same rage
[00:34.63] Cah we all gettin' older and he still the same age
[00:37.31] It's his twenty-seventh birthday, in his pic, he's fourteen
[00:39.95] Back when we would all dream
[00:41.47] There's Stephanie, she lived at fourteen
[00:44.23] And he lived at number seventeen, and I was number twelve
[00:46.67] When I used to think that if I'd skip church, I go to Hell
[00:49.31] So when they ask about grief and how it feels, I know it well
[00:52.23] I missed his tenth anniversary in 2024
[00:54.63] I know the value of this picture, we ain't gettin' any more
[00:57.31] Then I go, and I get angry, God, like, "Why'd you take him for?"
[01:00.07] He was just a baby
[01:01.39] All these emotions that I'm feelin', it's the strength I pray for
[01:04.15] God, for anyone that's with us that can vouch I pray for
[01:06.79] Pray that I feel less lonely in this house I prayed for
[01:09.59] I pray that

[01:12.76] Yeah
[01:14.80] With this cross that you bear on me
[01:16.88] Can you look after my mum? She probably used her last prayer on me
[01:20.08] Can't let the Devil in, there's repentance in the Bible, God, remind my ex of this
[01:23.16] Feel like we was meant for this, move mountains and boulders
[01:27.12] We at them ages where our parents gettin' older, may they never need a shoulder
[01:30.00] I done shit I can't condone, wrote sermons on my own
[01:33.76] I'm in church, more worried 'bout the service on my phone
[01:36.56] And on Judgement Day, are You gonna write it in my sins?
[01:39.20] Cah my nigga, he got cancer, and I'm lyin' to his kids
[01:41.84] God, I'm tryin', but it hits me in my heart
[01:43.80] I done lost so many niggas that's been with me from the start
[01:46.40] Then I pray for quick change and I ain't even try it fast
[01:49.16] All I ever did was ask, shattered glass, crucifixes on my chest
[01:52.44] Pray to purchase a Patek, for my church, they cut a check
[01:55.20] How am I tryna pray for Congo with these diamonds on my neck?
[01:59.60] There's a father and there's a son
[02:00.44] Pray that I can show him how to love a woman through his mum
[02:02.44] Because I never got the chance, and I just want the best
[02:05.32] For my three little nieces that I carry on my chest
[02:07.96] I'm prayin' for my managers, I'm prayin' for their wives
[02:10.68] 'Cause God knows that they're the ones that sacrifice their lives
[02:13.28] I would've said their names, but God, you know who I mean
[02:15.00] I'm prayin' for my brothers, God, protect us on the streets
[02:18.52] I had the steak at Carbone and didn't pray before I eat
[02:21.20] It's like I call You when I need You, and I don't, we don't speak
[02:23.88] Ground rules for my niggas found schools back at Lambeth Town Hall
[02:27.56] I helped him pray, but didn't know that it was on my downfall
[02:29.84] So when I'm ice cold
[02:32.72]
[02:32.92] When no blood is in my veins, numbers on my days
[02:33.96] Will I say I love this life of rain?
[02:35.40] I'm just prayin' that my purpose can justify my pain
[02:37.80] I'm just prayin' that my purpose can justify my pain

[02:41.44] My mum used to creep in my room and put oil and a cross on my head
[02:44.32] Anoint me and probably read a verse like Psalm 23
[02:46.60] "The Lord is my shepherd", and maybe Matthew 4
[02:49.16] "The word is my weapon tonight"
[02:51.24] If I can't pray for peace, then I just pray we win the war
[02:53.52] It's been twenty-six years, I don't know what I'm fightin' for
[02:56.24] Well, maybe it's a place to fill your everlastin' light
[02:58.68] In a world where kids that die get a second chance at life
[03:01.44] Christ, I don't know what to say to You
[03:04.04] I pray to You, forgive me for the days I had a reason to
[03:06.52] And I ain't had faith in You
[03:08.12] You did it for the sake of me and how I've forsaken You
[03:10.36] I prayed for new shoes and I used them to walk away from You
[03:13.08] Made it out with drugs, swapped the pen for the needles
[03:15.60] And I just found a different way to poison my people
[03:18.12] You could say it's testimony that I'm tellin' them my story
[03:20.96] But how we sellin' them the Devil, still givin' God the glory?
[03:22.90] Can I pray?
[03:23.65]