Selfish (feat. James Blake)

[00:16.43] What if I'm selfish? What if I'm the reason behind it?
[00:21.97] What if I'm overprotective with family because of how mine is?
[00:25.07] What if I'm jealous? Maybe that's what's makin' me nervous
[00:28.95] What if my effort of pullin' you close are pushin' you further?
[00:32.83] What if I'm selfish? What if the reason they call me the greatest
[00:36.56] Is also the reason that me and you livin' on different pages?
[00:40.45] What if I'm too much? What if I settled and I didn't fight?
[00:44.20] What if my fear of doin' it wrong's the reason I haven't been doin' it right?
[00:47.77] What if I'm selfish? What if the kids just wanna be kids
[00:51.67] And don't wanna live in and outta the news and chill, and don't even wanna be rich?
[00:55.51] And what if I'm so self-centred that I don't even realise what I could miss?
[00:59.49] And what if I'm, what if I'm fallin' in the abyss? Maybe it's (what if I'm) yeah
[01:07.66] Maybe it's dark, maybe it's day, maybe it's too many nights in L.A.
[01:11.01] Look at the house in Surrey and still, all of the feelings we hid in the Hills
[01:14.73] Maybe it's you, maybe it's me, maybe the media or the provokin'
[01:18.51] Gave you my heart, I laid it bare, funny you went and you poked it
[01:22.57] What if it's better with me out the way? What if it's better with me out the
[01:26.59] Like, what if it's better with me out the way? What if I'm poison? What if I'm cancer?
[01:30.49] What if I'm dangerous and I'm wild? Look in my eyes, you're seein' a child
[01:34.39] What if he's broken? What if he's scared? What if he's ostracised and vilified? (Mm)
[01:38.52] See, peace is just an illusion, ain't got a home, I live in confusion, what if I'm selfish?
[01:43.84] Forever, forever, forever
[01:48.39] I manage the symptoms forever
[01:52.25] You can love how you want
[01:55.85] I know to give is no loss
[01:59.60] Can you settle for second
[02:03.59] And let go of your idea of Heaven?
[02:07.92] I know it's a lot
[02:10.88] But it might be all that I've got
[02:15.65] I wanna throw myself in
[02:19.62] Snap off the mask
[02:23.12] I want a clown that sings
[02:27.02] And a love that lasts
[02:31.29] I wanna escape the weddin'
[02:34.68] Go with you to the carriage
[02:38.26] I wanna give you my life
[02:42.14] Or at least somethin' to cherish
[02:46.72] But what if I'm selfish?
[02:48.95] I done a lotta things I regret, like announcin' our split on a text
[02:52.11] Don't know why, but I still buy gifts for my ex, watchin' her stories to see if she checks
[02:55.98] I'm a mess, I don't know if my head's in the game
[02:58.56] She told me don't mention her name, I'm suggestin' the same
[03:00.99] I'ma get through the pain, wanna see the sunshine, gotta get through the rain
[03:03.74] Bag full of trauma, I left on the train
[03:05.88] I'm ashamed for the days that I said that I changed, I'm a cheat
[03:08.23] Sat in a therapist chair cryin' like a baby in the middle of a Harley Street
[03:11.85] Like I'm fightin' this sickness that I can't beat, I'm disloyal
[03:14.86] And then I go mad, reflection tellin' me I'm just like my dad
[03:17.81] And this white woman tellin' me it ain't so bad
[03:19.65] Middle of my sentence she cut me off, like, "Sorry, David, we don't have any more time
[03:23.55] Your appointment 'til 4:00, and it's 3:55", bruh, I feel like she wouldn't even care if I died
[03:27.34] Man, I tried all this therapy shit, man, I tried all this therapy shit
[03:30.58] Bruh, I know, wouldn't even say I'm depressed, but I'm low in the Grosvenor Casino in Edgware Road
[03:34.45] I've got too many sins to atone and a voice in my head, like
[03:38.20] At this point, like, at this point where you shoulda been rich, like
[03:40.53] At this point where you shoulda had kids, like
[03:42.75] At this point shoulda built you a life, like
[03:44.78] Look around you, don't you feel you're behind? Like
[03:46.76] Look around you, don't you feel you're behind? Like
[03:48.44] Look around you, don't you feel like, like
[03:50.83] What if I never find love? Don't know if it's scarier, the thought of us two together or bein' alone
[03:56.08] I'm so used to bein' alone
[03:58.36] What if I'm somebody nobody wants?
[04:00.15] What if I'm damaged or what if I waited too long
[04:02.47] And have mould on me? What if I'm cold on me?
[04:04.23] What if I cut off the hand that I hold on me?
[04:05.91] What if I'm rapidly spiralin' and tired and jaded?
[04:08.61] Or what if I'm faded? Or what if anxiety's growin' inside me
[04:11.34] That I might have left all my best years behind me?
[04:13.67] Or what if I'm scared as I touch 27 that you don't appear in my idea of Heaven?
[04:17.23] Or what if I'm, what if I'm, what if I'm selfish?
[04:21.87]