Better Than I Used to Be

Used to sink with all the anchors
Of the problems I catastrophized
Used to drowning in the riptide
Of perfections, thoughts in black and white
Patience don't come easily
My best friend was apathy
Living blind means anxiously
'Cause when I slow down, I can see
I still got mountains to climb on my way out of bed
I still got oceans to cross inside of my own head
But I'm not losing sleep
'Cause I'm a little bit better than I used to be
Used to hiding in the deep blue of deprecation I romanticized
Used to swim from, from the shoreline
Of the good things I would minimize
Patience don't come easily
And growth is perfect's enemy
And healing ain't a guarantee
But when I slow down I can see
I still got mountains to climb on my way out of bed
I still got oceans to cross inside of my own head
But I'm not losing sleep
'Cause I'm a little bit better than I used to be
I still got demons that drag me down and want me dead
A million reasons to fall apart but I ain't stressed
Yeah, I've bought room to breathe
'Cause I'm a little bit better than I used to be
I was trying to see the bright side with a blindfold on
Taking orders from my thoughts as if they're never wrong
Was avoiding all resistance, wishing I was strong
So, when I wanna be the martyr, I'm gonna try a little harder
I found comfort in distortions that I sold myself
'Cause nothing hurts if you believe you're too far gone for help
But if I'm growing, that's enough, I wish the old me well
'Cause when I wanna be the martyr, I'm gonna try a little harder
I still got mountains to climb on my way out of bed
I still got oceans to cross inside of my own head
But I'm not losing sleep
I'm a little bit better than I used to be
I still got demons that drag me down and want me dead
A million reasons to fall apart but I ain't stressed
Yeah, that's alright with me
I'm a little bit better than I used to be