Sad

[00:00.22] This first song is called
[00:02.83] A world on fire
[00:06.55] Ahhhh! Ahhhh!
[00:07.70] This next song is a little bit longer than that one
[00:10.81] And, um
[00:14.04] It's about all the sad stuff I see in the world
[00:15.70] I see a lot of sad stuff and it's called sad
[00:18.78]
[00:23.14] Getting my level medicine
[00:24.92] Picture a depressed onion cutting itself
[00:27.94]
[00:40.87] I met a homeless man named Rich
[00:43.61] (He wasn't...)
[00:45.98]
[00:48.73] Isn't that terrible?
[00:49.72] I saw a flyer for a lost dog and the dog didn't have any legs
[00:54.33] I saw a diabetic kid trick or treating
[00:59.41] I saw a giraffe who had a short neck
[01:02.04] That was sad, or a deer
[01:04.28] I saw an old man get hit by a train
[01:10.90] He didn't see it in the pouring rain
[01:15.09] He didn't hear me shout, "Look out for the train!"
[01:22.08] 'Cause I didn't say anything
[01:24.94]
[01:28.55] I just thought to myself, "Oh this is gonna be sad"
[01:35.34] And it was, I'm a genius
[01:41.49]
[01:46.39] I saw a man with only one eye in a 3D movie
[01:55.04] I saw a little boy drop his ice cream cone, directly on his mother's corpse
[01:59.31] I saw a kitten stuck in a tree, then the kitten jumped off and he hung itself
[02:04.29] I saw a boy who had red hair...
[02:09.65] I went to a store looking for something to buy
[02:14.92] But they only sold paintings of the same sad guy
[02:21.22] No, wait... this store sells mirrors
[02:25.14] See what I did there?
[02:27.58] Let's rock
[02:28.24] No
[02:30.36]
[02:34.38] The world's so sad, Maddison
[02:38.84] Pain, war, genocide, racism, sexism
[02:44.94] But I gotta remember there's good things about it too
[02:48.69] Like the fact that none of that's happening to me, score!
[02:53.79] Still though it's hard not to be sad about it
[02:56.65] How do y'all do it?
[02:58.64] I've been telling you guys, terribly sad things this whole song
[03:00.91] You haven't been sad at all
[03:01.83] You've been happy, no, You've been laughing
[03:04.86] That's it, laughter, it's the key to everything
[03:07.25] It's the way to solve all the sadness in the world
[03:09.85] I mean, not for the people that are actually sad
[03:11.80] But for the people like us, that gotta fucking deal with 'em all the time
[03:16.26] Being a comedian isn't being an insensitive prick
[03:18.50] Capitalizing on the most animalistic impulses of the public, it's being a hero!
[03:24.39] The world isn't sad
[03:25.96] The world's funny! I get it now I'm a sociopath!
[03:29.48] I saw an old man slip and fall, what a fucking idiot
[03:33.87] I saw a woman at her daughter's funeral... ha ha ha! Classic comedy
[03:38.62] Everything that once was sad is somehow funny now
[03:43.02] The Holocaust and 9-11
[03:45.47] That shit's funny 24-7
[03:47.36] 'Cause tragedy will be exclusively joked about
[03:53.84] Because my empathy is bumming me out
[04:00.36] Goodbye, sadness
[04:05.21] Hello, jokes
[04:08.83]
[04:12.96] Thank you very much
[04:13.28]