Scared

[00:01.65] Huht!
[00:04.85] Uh, yeah
[00:07.17] Yeah
[00:09.43] I ain't comin' in, yet
[00:13.92] Look
[00:19.12] Look, when I was four, I was fightin' for my life
[00:22.95] They stabbed me up, with needles, tried to get the treatment right
[00:26.26] I was scared, I was dyin', like the kid, the other night
[00:29.13] 'Cause, he ain't get the same meds, that I did on the fight
[00:31.92] And now, he's dead
[00:32.63] Man, that should've been me
[00:34.22] Like, what if he was that dude, who could'a cured a disease?
[00:37.08] Or figured out a way to save us, when the Earth'd deplete?
[00:39.92] Or then, became the fuckin' president, who nurtured, in peace?
[00:42.23] I just don't get it, 'cause, I ain't livin' my life
[00:45.24] Man, all I do is sit at home, and fuckin' bitch, when I write
[00:47.88] Then, fuck a bitch, every night, instead of pickin' 'em right
[00:50.76] 'Cause, in my past, every girl I had, was pickin' a fight
[00:52.90] And, it made me nervous
[00:55.05] My circuit's are shot, and I don't care
[00:56.30] I'm tryna find the words, that'll surface, and find air
[00:59.07] I'm workin', to feel worth it, I'm hurt, and it's not fair
[01:01.68] 'Cause, I feel like I been searchin' for purpose, that's not there
[01:04.48] And now, I'm scared
[01:06.31] Yeah, unh, look
[01:10.04] And now, I'm scared
[01:11.08] And, I 'on't like to talk about my feeling's
[01:13.06] 'Cause, the man, inside the mirror
[01:14.37] Got some demons, muh'fucker
[01:15.62] And, I'm scared
[01:18.04] Yeah, unh
[01:21.32] And now, I'm scared
[01:22.08] But, I been actin' like I'm okay
[01:23.62] Even though, deep inside, I been lost in my mind
[01:26.26] And, I'm scared
[01:27.39] But, I'm alive and well
[01:28.94] Well, I'm alive, but I'm far from well
[01:31.69] So, the doctors say I need to focus more on my health
[01:34.36] Because, I rap to help you, but it ain't helpin' myself
[01:37.16] I keep myself pinned down, with the words that I've spit
[01:40.02] Instead of movin' past pain, I indulge in the shit, huht
[01:43.48] Look, you prob'ly thinkin' it's hot
[01:45.77] But, it caused my anxiety, and that shit don't stop
[01:47.80] Man, I can't even leave my house, so I hide in my room
[01:50.71] 'Cause, everybody in my town, talks down on me, too
[01:53.40] They see me as a fuckin' rapper, some delusional goon
[01:56.43] And, judge me, based off every lyric, not the shit that I do
[01:59.19] And, it made me pissed
[01:59.76] I'm bitchin', but, shit, it's just not fair
[02:01.72] I'm itchin' for the figures, I figured, it's right there
[02:04.43] The bigger picture, I've painted is failin' to find air
[02:06.85] 'Cause, the genre's started changin', my brain is just not there
[02:10.11] And now, I'm scared
[02:12.62] Yeah, unh, look
[02:15.45] And now, I'm scared
[02:16.60] So, I 'on't leave my room, too often
[02:18.55] Man, it's too much talkin' 'round my name, muh'fucker
[02:21.13] Now, I'm scared
[02:22.88] Yuh, unh
[02:25.82] And now, I'm scared
[02:27.04] I 'on't do well, when I'm lonely
[02:29.23] But, I'm always by myself, and maybe that's the reason
[02:32.23] That I'm scared
[02:33.02] For my family, and friends, that I made
[02:34.54] 'Cause, death is just around the corner, that could happen, today
[02:36.98] And shit, I couldn't even fathom what my family would say
[02:39.60] If they seen me, layin' dead, in my casket, one day
[02:42.48] I seen my parents, last week, I ain't seen 'em in months
[02:45.29] Shit, my mom looked nervous, 'cause I'm hangin' with thugs
[02:47.95] And she's scared I'll OD, 'cause I got into drugs
[02:50.65] So, before I thought to leave, I went and gave her a hug
[02:53.60] And, she latched on
[02:54.94] Like, she won't see me, again
[02:56.32] I got a feelin' that the reason is the shit that I said
[02:58.10] I tell my fans, everyday, that I wish I was dead
[03:01.65] So, I can finally be in peace, instead of dealin', with dread
[03:04.93] And, it made me mad
[03:05.72] I'm passin' the pain, to my own fam
[03:07.35] I've stacked all the odds, in my favor, to make rap
[03:09.78] Now, I'm laughin' about passin', and, havin' a whole gram
[03:12.75] 'Cause, I'm lackin' all the passion I had, and it's so sad
[03:15.49] And now, I'm scared
[03:17.04]