death rides a grey horse

i been waiting for love so long
i been waiting for love so long
how many pills it's gonna take to fill this hole?
still smoking to numb the pain from years ago
just popped me enough to be high for a year a more
sick and tired of feeling like i will never ever ever ever be enough
fuck all that poetic shit, i'm spilling out my heart
i keep getting charged for love i already bought
haven't emptied out my brain but i been living with the thought
see me whipping the lanes but not the tears up in the car
dad do i make you proud?
mom do i make you smile?
if i wasn't who i am, would they still hold me down?
rewind that tape one more time and turn my paw paw loud
wish he was here right now
if heaven is real, he's smoking a cig and having a beer right now
if i was able to show what i feel, i'd be in tears right now
way i been living my life, ive prolly taken off years by now
road to hell gone have to wait, so i high, i can't steer right now
chrome hearts on my chrome heart
purgatory's top prospect
on a planet they ain't find yet
psych doctors all around me, got them tripping tryna study my mindset
about as fucked as a mind get
time to drop something timeless
shoulda known they was worms cuz these muh fuckers round me, they spineless
damn son where'd you find this?
fam betting on me like prize picks
white cracker throwing 3s up, i'm balling like kirk hinrich
crematory, im fried bitch
chrome what i'm outside in
chrome turn his insides out
northside but the white south
subs got me with a dry mouth
ain't the fuck around, we the find out
on the corner like a timeout
loaded, bumping amy winehouse
they can't see me like their eyebrows
they can't square me like i'm pi now
had to tell them that im not no savior cuz they treating me like a god now
hardest pill i had to swallow was my fam and the fact i can't save them
father come to me for my advice, they been treating me like i raised them
they playing nice but i know they hate me and they hate the fact that i pay them
let them get it out, i don't argue back cuz the pills i took got me fading