Kitty Cat’s Revenge

Well, when I was young I had a job
With the Fire Department Rescue Squad
And we got a call one day
To get a cat out of a drainage line

Now the lady was frantic and the day was hot
And she'd mentioned her kitty was an ocelot
A fact that did not seem all that
Important, at the time.

'Cause they're usually neutered, declawed, defanged
But this little fella still had everythang
And when I found him back in that drainage pipe
He was a tremblin', shakin' mess

Well I reached to grab him but he grabbed me first,
AAnd that was the worst I thought I'd ever been hurt
But that was before I hit my head
On that big dirt dobber's nest

Since I was on my knees anyway,
I thought I'd just offer up a little prayer:

Lord, have mercy on me!
Save a place in Heaven for me
'Cause we're running outta room in this drainage pipe
Yeah, the cat and the bees don't need no help
They're doin' just fine right be their selves
But anything you can do for me, Lord
I'd sure be much obliged!

Well, everything I grabbed was either tooth or claw,
It was like tryin' to fight a circle saw
And those bees, Lord have mercy friends,
They were all over me!

It was a stingin', bittin', clawin' fight,
And then I dropped my big flashlight
But it really didn't matter
I was hurtin' so bad I couldn't see.

And on my hands and knees I couldn't stand up
And I couldn't turn around so I had to back up
But I couldn't see or remember which way
That I had come in from

And I took a wrong turn and the gradient got steep
And then me and the cat dropped 30 feet
AAnd most of those bees followed us down
To that sewage treatment pond

You've heard of steppin' in it friends?
I was up to my clavicle...

Lord, have mercy on me!
Save a place in Heaven for me
'Cause all of my strength is nearly gone
Yeah, those bees are stingin' and the cat can't swim
And I cain't get away from either one of them
I think it's time you intervene, Lord
Call somebody home!

Then my buddies found me and pulled me
And, friends, I looked like a Christmas tree
And they sprayed the bees
And gave the lady back her cat

And I went home and showered 14 times
Got bandaged up, and I did just fine
But in all my life I've never hurt so bad
Or smelled quite like that

And I can remember prayin':

Lord, have mercy on me!
Save a place in Heaven for me,
'cause we're running outta room in this drainage pipe!
Yeah, the cat and the bees don't need no help
They're doin' just fine right by their selves
But anything you can do for me, Lord
I'd sure be much obliged!

Anything you can do for me, Lord
I'd sure be much obliged!